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10 ways to diffuse arguments between you and your children - a teenager's POV

When was the last time you were in an argument with your teen? What put you in that situation? Do you always wish to dissolve the argument but are never able to? Regardless of what you are arguing about, it is a bad experience that can make you feel unhappy and overwhelmed, but most importantly, it keeps you from accomplishing your daily goals. It affects your relationship with your child, it could even affect their mental health! Speaking from my own point of view, as a 17-year-old teenager I have found myself in some serious arguments with my mom. Sometimes we disagree on things, sometimes we just have different opinions and end up making different choices. Every human has their own beliefs, even we as teenagers might have completely different beliefs from our parents, which is completely okay! The choices and opinions one holds are based on their beliefs. It is very important for a parent to understand how vital it is for a child to have beliefs because they shape a teen’s perception of belonging, not just for their teen years but for their adult life too! Teenage life is a tough rollercoaster, Teenagers go through many changes, physically, mentally, and emotionally. A part of being a teenager is building a self-identity, As kids parents make all the decisions, the kind of food you eat the kind of clothes you wear, the kind of friends you have, but when you become a teenager you tend to find yourself in many arguments because ought having your own opinions about things. Sometimes it is hard for parents to realize that their little baby is not so little anymore, as hard it gets for them to digest, they will slowly understand. Being a teenager I feel letting parents know what exactly a teen wants could help parents get better at resolving those arguments. HERE ARE 10 WAYS THAT CAN HELP YOU RESOLVE ARGUMENTS WITH YOUR TEEN (1) ACCEPTANCE IS THE KEY! One of the most important aspects is accepting your child the way they are. I feel this is something we teenagers crave the most from our parents, we want them to accept us as we are, we are at the stage where we make mistakes and learn from them. Nobody is perfect and mistakes are very important in every person’s life. Please accept your teenager do not let the fear of being embarrassed by their mistakes cloud you from the attention they crave. (2) DO NOT LOSE CONTROL! As an adult, I'm sure every parent has a lot to deal with, work, home, emotions, finances e.t.c. It is pretty normal to lash out at your teenager when they are being stubborn, but it is very important for you to not lose control. It is just going to worsen the argument and turn into a shouting match. (3) DISENGAGE Sometimes stress and anger can cause you to overreact, sometimes disengaging yourself from that situation can really help, Anger can make you do stupid things, you might make a hasty decision that might have really twisted consequences. It is always better to be calm first and then deal with the situation with an open mind. (4) THINK BEFORE LETTING THE WORDS OUT Having an argument with your teen is completely okay, but what is important to realize is that some things are not to be said in front of your teen, it is very important to know that you might not know how but many things affect your teen and it makes them carry grudges against you that could further make paths for arguments. (5) HEAR YOUR TEEN’S POINT OF VIEW It is always very important for you to listen to your teen, please listen to them, sometimes they want to just express their frustration and sadness to you, and end up taking it out in the wrong way, listen to them, make sure you hear everything they have to say before you put out your opinions. (6) IT IS OKAY TO ADMIT IF YOU ARE WRONG In many cases, in the middle of the argument, you realize that you are wrong, but sometimes you continue the argument just so you can save yourself from humiliating yourself in front of your child. The best thing to do is admit and apologize, it is okay to be wrong, you learn from that, but in the end, you will be appreciated for your honesty, and your child will learn from you and do the same in the future. (7) BE PRECISE Sometimes you might be angry about something your teen did in the past and that might pop up during an ongoing argument. Try not to bring old things into your argument. It will make the situation worse and can lead to hurtful results. (8) CHANGE YOUR APPROACH If you find your teen often crossing the limits, make them realize their mistake, however not always with punishments, such as grounding them or taking away their gadgets this will only make them rebel more. Instead give them a lesson with examples like telling them the way you behave with others is how they behave with you, giving them advice and examples might help them realize their mistake. (9) HUMOUR This might sound very weird, but humor can help you calm the argument. Having a teenage attitude at home can be a task sometimes but being rude will only cause your child to have bitter feelings for you. Instead, using humor to break an intense argument will help you look at the problem from a different perspective. (10) LET THEM FIGURE OUT THEIR LIVES As a kid, you had full control over your teen’s life, but now they want to take control of their own lives and make decisions they think are the best for them. This can be difficult to accept but even if you grew into a responsible individual once, give them a chance, if they fail, tell them it's okay and make sure they keep trying.


Author: Sumati Grover

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