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Careful, It’s not funny, It’s a break-up

Ways to deal with your teen’s break-up

I remember falling in love at 13. I fell in love with his dark blue eyes, dense black hair and his spiderman crafted bag. Umm, won’t lie, even with the lunch his mom used to cook. I loved the authentic Veg Korma from his mum’s kitchen. The thick, savoury curry, full of chicken, braised with curd, cream, spices and magic still makes me crave for it.

The feeling of my first love is still fresh in my mind. I felt like his favourite melody, the vanilla essence that he kept searching for, at his cosy corners. The excitement and energy were at their peak. I was happiest in my small little world of imagination. I already had a big house, 3 cars, 2 dogs , a daughter and his last name in my head. Funny right? But it’s not!

Doesn't matter what age you are walking into, when a dream breaks, you feel hurt and broken. You feel like there is no reason to proceed further in life. I wish the 13-year young pubescent could have asked her parents for help while she was dealing with her break-up. The emotional tides were making her hopes low and life tough. She could have said “Can you help me heal from yesterday? It’s going to take more than a bandage and a tape? For moving on, you have to be an Angaapesis. A strong and affectionate support can make the “move on” journey a little easy.

Urging all the parents reading this article to take your teenagers relationship seriously and if your teen is going through a breakup, instead of making fun of them, try and help them. Help them so that your juvenile doesn't fall apart. Make them feel stronger, tell them that it’s okay to feel low but what is not okay is to remain stuck in it forever.

Confused about how to deal with your teen breakup? Here is your quick fix guide.

1. Decode your pubescent’s love language: You must be wondering what your pubescent’s love language is? Put your curiosity at peace by reading “The Five Love Languages of Teenagers”, it is indeed a goodread. Lending your ears and letting someone feel heard is the kindest thing you can do to anybody. While your teen has so much to say, pubescent have the baggage of emotions to discharge, hear them out. Ask them questions and empathise. Let your teen feel that the teeny bopper can lay down in your lap and cry their heart out. Let them recycle their tears. Let their pillow get drenched in emotions. If your teen is sleeping a lot, let them do that. According to psychology, the best way to overcome sadness is to sleep with it till you feel tired from the accompanying emotion.

Credits: Kindel

2. Be supportive and available: We do invite people for celebration but call very few when we are heartbroken and in need of help. Be that person in your teen’s life whom they can easily trust when it comes to helping. As your teen’s breakup is so fresh, champ will keep talking about their feelings for a few days. Make sure you are always available and their “go to psychologist”. Maybe your teen will tell you the same story, again and again, here you don’t have to say that you have heard about it already. Redo the same exercise. Listen to them with care and empathy. Support their decision of having no plan or diverting a little from their schedule. Understand that your youngling need a little time to sort their emotions and minds out. Let them escape from the world for some time, if they want to.

Pic credits: Cottonbro

3. Give them enough space: Many teens are not comfortable crying and sobbing in front of anyone. Let them have their own space to go through the stage of acceptance. The best thing about acceptance(hard or happy) is once you accept the facts, life becomes easy, and at least your thoughts have clear directions. If your teen wants to skip the football match and just wants to lay over, be okay with it.

Pic credits: Flávio Santos

4. Pamper your teen: After at least 2 weeks of seeing them falling apart, gear up. Ask your pubescent, if your bud wants to go for a movie, shopping maybe, or a short trip? Make sure you order your teens’ favourite food. Give your juvenile a gift that they so much wanted to have. Tell them about your breakup and how you came out of it. Dance together in the BTS rhythm. Have a pillow fight with your sugar crumb and a late-night ice cream drive. Let your teen know that no matter what you will always remain this lovable and caring.

Pic credits: Pixabay

5. Empower your teen: Share one simple fact with your juvenile, Life is not going to be amazing every day. A few days are amazing and a few of them are just sad and disappointing but it doesn’t mean that you have to give up. Tell them that life wants you to be you. Make them understand that they have to go a long way and it is one of the important lessons of life. They have experienced it already and now it is much needed to come out of it stronger than before. Your teenager now needs to Smile, Sparkle and shine.

Credits: Polina Kovaleva

6. Ask them to develop a new habit: A painting class to paint their imagination, A music class to understand their internal strings more or an MMA class to learn more discipline? Any new habit will make their focus shift a bit for some time and by the time they adopt this new habit completely in their life, the pain will vanish. This is also a new time for self-reflection, learning, growth and exploration. This acts as a transition and being apparent you have to make sure it goes well.

Credits: Pavel Danilyuk

7. Change their room set-up: It’s time to brighten up their room. Let them choose a paint colour for the walls, the new posters that stripling want to have and any new game they are crushing over. Change those old bookshelves to something interesting, and arrange their wardrobe, for a change. Give them a fresh and new feeling. This will help them to feel refreshed and start over again with a lot more confidence and enthusiasm.

Credits: cottonbro

8. Don’t trigger the past: You have done it. Yes, you have. Now the most important thing is not to bring out the old breakup conversation or the name of their partner. Respect their past and you too move on from their breakup. Start new topics, and make them indulge in a few cooking sessions. Binge-watch Netflix together and there you go. Well done!

Credits: Anete Lusina

Wishing you and your teen a good time together :)

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