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How to stop kids from hiding something?

When kids grow up, they hide things from their parents. The reason could be many things - a fear of abandonment, punishment, restrictions, misunderstanding, or losing something precious to them. The kids might feel safe post hiding secrets from their parents rather than living in the fear of hiding things from their parents. But what if this hiding of details can backfire? Sometimes because kids fear from parents it can cover issues of child abuse, bullying, or an attempt to kidnapping.

If we talk about the stats, around 90% of kids are abused by the people they know. If kids continue to hide small secrets, the predators will take bigger and more harmful steps later.

To keep your kids safe from all these mishappenings, you need to keep a few tips in mind that will not only help you save your kids from something dangerous but will also help you and your kids to form a strong bond.

  • Provide a safe space for them to communicate openly: To help your kids share secrets with you, you need to nurture them with warmth, affection, empathy, and praise. A friendly and positive environment will help them to communicate openly with you and reach out for help if needed.

  • Engage in activities with them to form a strong bond: Kids like to mingle with people who play with them and show interest in their world of imagination. If you want your kids to share everything with you, the best idea is to be their friend. Give them your undivided attention, play their favourite game, appreciate them for their good deeds, and listen to their stories with focus and curiosity.

  • Listen and respond calmly, and validate their feelings: Kids often fear your reaction to something they share. They are very sensitive hence they need to be handled with care and sensitivity. If you deny their feelings and shout at them, they might not take it in the right way and it will do more harm than good. In such cases, if they share a secret with you, you need to keep your calm, listen curiously and respond calmly, and give validation for their feelings.

  • Celebrate their imperfection: If you are an ambitious parent who wants their kids to be the best, you might have come across times when your kids have hidden their grade cards from you or they have hidden that they didn’t win a game or a quiz. Expecting your kids to be perfect is not a realistic expectation. Don't expect your child to be perfect, let them be their imperfect unique self, and let them explore themselves.

  • Assure them of acceptance instead of abandonment: Kids want love from their parents and they try to engage in different activities just to make their parents happy and receive their love. But if they fail to do so, they develop a fear of abandonment. They think their parents will abandon them for their mistakes. You need to assure your kid that you accept them despite their mistakes and you need to help them learn from their mistakes along with choosing the right path in the future.

Parents, it's okay to feel a sense of fear and uncertainty when you catch your kids hiding something from you. The fear may stem from not knowing what your child is hiding and why they feel the need to keep it a secret. You may worry that your child is in danger or engaging in risky behaviour. You may also feel hurt or disappointed that your child didn't feel comfortable enough to come to you with whatever they were hiding. It's important for you to approach the situation with compassion and understanding, while also setting clear boundaries and expectations for your child's behaviour. Communication and trust are key to building a healthy relationship with your children.

We wish you happy parenting!


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